Letting go is hard to do. As a working mom, Victoria Catt explains why she’s opting to loosen her grip.
2017 is the year I will live in the moment in anything and all I do. Why? Because it is just too much to control it all. I have it all, all that I have always dreamed of: the high-powered career with endless paths in front of me; the adoring husband, who is my partner in everything we do; my three boys, who are all I ever wanted. Yet, as a working mom I find myself constantly trying to outdo myself for the career, my husband and our children, and in doing so, I feel like I am falling short—always.My boys love me for who I am and that is it. They don’t mind if I don’t cook their dinner and pick them up from school every day. We will remember the good times, the times when they read to me at night, when we lay side by side talking about our days or laughing about a shared family joke. They understand that Mama works and that makes her happy, and they thrive in their amazing schools. They love that I take that hour a day to better my health and workout. The escape from it all in that one hour makes it a better day for us all.
My husband gets me. He loves me for the mom and the career woman I am. He cooks and cleans for our family, allowing me to spend the few yet so precious hours with our boys. He is my partner in life and I am grateful for the 50/50 structure he provides in our household. We do it together.
My urge to thrive in my career is a constant in our family and it is my career that makes me happy. The opportunities that it gives me and the sense of accomplishment are as much unnerving as they are thrilling. But at the end of each day, I can only give 100 percent rushing to the next level and constantly reaching for my goals. So, I will live in the moment.
Our days are jam-packed from sunrise to night. Whatever the day brings, we will wake together, we will wish each other a good day and we will go about our days at work and school. When the night comes, we will regroup once again as a family and live in the moment.
I will no longer feel guilty for the time spent away or everything not being just right. I may not always be fully prepared for that important meeting or be able to take the boys to school, but I will no longer feel anxious about not having done things differently or thinking, “What if?” That control, that angst, that is exactly what stops me from being the best version of me.
Austin Woman features a reader-submitted essay every month in the I Am Austin Woman column. To be considered for April’s I Am Austin Woman, email a 500-word submission on a topic of your choice by Mar. 1 to submissions@awmediainc.com with the subject line “I Am Austin Woman.”