This letter has been harder to write than any, dear reader. So bear with me.
Content warning for those sensitive to depictions of assault.
April is upon us, and with it, Austin Woman focuses on social impact. Particularly, we’re focusing on women-identified activists who have constantly and with little recognition altered the landscape of this city. Our cover woman, Pamela Benson Owens, is a storied activist, with years of experience fighting to protect and preserve the history of Black Austin. Allies Against Slavery have come together in the name of protecting and advocating for victims and survivors of modern-day slavery, including trafficking. For animals, who have no voices to raise, SARA founder Tracy Frank has ensured that those abandoned and traumatized find shelter, peace and a new lease on life. So many women within these pages have fought, stood strong in the face of ridicule and oftentimes violent pushback.
Activism, though incredibly rewarding, is heavy, frightening and very often lonely work. It doesn’t necessarily allow room for perceived weakness, vulnerability, grief. Many creatives, like myself, wouldn’t want to disrespect the work by calling ourselves activists. We’re relatively safe from repercussion, certainly in most instances from the threat of harm. It’s scary to put yourself out there, but it has to be done for the sake of everyone around you. So now I have to tell my story. I’m terrified, but it’s necessary.
During SXSW this year, I was verbally sexually assaulted. Five men surrounded me, and two of them wouldn’t let me leave. They didn’t take no for an answer; they ignored me telling them I had no money to give them. When I tried showing proof of this, they began to make vulgar comments about my body, then propositioned me. I won’t get into the details here, but every single word they said, every smile and chuckle, every time I tried to walk away and they wouldn’t let me, everything still lingers. I didn’t even know if I should tell this story because, listen, I know and love people who have suffered far worse. Physically, I’m fine. But I’ve never been surrounded by five people who just wanted money from me. When they confronted me, they had all the audacity in the world to believe they could say anything and treat me however they chose to get the reaction they wanted.
Listen, I know what my body looks like. I know that I’m an easy target. I’ve dealt with harassment, unsolicited touching. I’ve been threatened while on the job. I’ve been in situations like this where I’m stopped in broad daylight and nobody helps, I mean nobody. Why does this one affect me so much? Because in the moment, anything could have happened to me. What I do know is that in that moment, I was by myself and these dudes had all the control. Until I satisfied (or bored) them enough, I was stuck.
Why did I even tell this story? Because I don’t know if people get it yet. For us, this is almost as commonplace as tying our shoes. It doesn’t matter what job you have, how much money you make. It doesn’t matter if your sole purpose is to bring stories of strength, resilience and success about the women-identified folks of this city. At the end of the day, unless the culture shifts, nothing will. I was working as press at SXSW, my badge on full display with my name and the publication I work for: Austin Woman magazine. It didn’t matter.
I tell this story because I want every woman-identified person who sees this to understand that you are valued, you are seen, you are in a safe space when you read these pages. More importantly, if you’ve dealt with this kind of thing, you are not alone. I will continue to fight for you, and I’m sure I can speak for everyone at the magazine when I say we are all here for you. Do not hide anymore. Do not let the actions of disgusting people stop your light from shining. Speak loudly and in your truth.
I don’t know if this grimy feeling will ever fully go away, but when I get to speak to women like Pamela Benson Owens, when I get to read the incredible stories of women-identified activists who are making this city (the world) a better place for every living creature to exist, I know that I am surrounded by amazing people. I thank them, and I thank you, dear reader, for indulging a Black girl nerd’s story. Be careful, everyone. Love yourselves, love each other.
Cy White,
Managing Editor