Get a deeper understanding of how we love, through Love Intently.
By Mallory Lehenbauer, Photo by Brandon Hill
Being in love is the best feeling in the world. People search for it, find it and then commit to that one person through kind words and affection, but what happens next? The reality is love is simple, but relationships are hard.
Life comes at us fast, and sometimes it’s all too easy to snap at the person you once only had goo-goo eyes for. Wouldn’t it be great if everyday couples could say, “Hey, you rock and I love you”?
Austin-based company Love Intently is passionate about empowering couples to love one another to their fullest capacity amid life’s chaos. This means different things for every couple, but one of the best ways is through diving deeper into each partner’s personality, family and past relationships.
The way we love and the way we feel loved is the heartbeat of any relationship. Our backgrounds and family-origin stories play major roles in the way we connect and communicate with others, romantically and otherwise. Growing up with overly affectionate parents or with ones that rarely said I love you affects all adult relationships. Beyond how we are raised, assumptions and unexpressed expectations are a few of the silent killers of relationships.
When couples aren’t on the same page communication-wise, that’s when relationships get tricky. For every small negative interaction encountered with your partner, it takes five positive interactions to restore peace. Relationship expert and Love Intently’s advisor, Lisa Neff, calls these positive assurances. We need to maintain a bank of positive assurances in our relationships to overpower those inevitable negative encounters.
It’s one thing to learn all of the differences and similarities between you and the people you love, but it’s a whole other thing to apply it all to day-to-day life. As February if often deemed the month of love, is a great time to focus on tangible ways to love your partner.
Love personalities tell us how we love, how we feel the most loved and how we communicate best in relationships. For each person and each couple, this can differ greatly. For example, one partner may feel the most loved by physical touch, while the other partner may feel the most loved through words of love and praise. They think they are showing the other person they care by communicating in their love personality, when, in reality, they should think through how their partner feels the most loved.
The first step to learning how to better communicate is to figure out how you love. Love Intently created a quiz that identifies your love personality. Take it with your partner and feel empowered to better love them every day.